BYE BYE BABY
Already a toddler – forever her mother.
And suddenly, our child, wobbly on her feet but determined to see things by herself, is out in the world. She waves and wants to play. She walks around and runs away.
It happened fast, from a newborn cared for non-stop to an independent toddler developing her own voice. I feel like it was yesterday when we were tied together in a post-partum blur; today, I’m away, and she is fine. I miss her and she misses me, but that vital need for my presence is gone.
So much of those first months, of that first year, happen in the privacy of one’s home, within the walls of a burgeoning family. All the firsts, all the long nights, the relentless rhythm of diapers and feeds, her eyes slowly focusing on the world around her – all so private, and so precious, and so intimate. A parenting crash course, in the dim halo of a night light.
And suddenly, she stood up, wobbled a bit, and moved on from us.
I know it’s the first of many bittersweet moments. Relieved to move more freely again, but nostalgic for that bond.
I know, too, that that connection will always be there, on a different level. All those days and nights spent caring for her, learning to look after her, getting to know her – it’s all there, somewhere. Everything else grows from there.
