FEAR & FUTURE
I can't have a kid and think all is doomed.
In one week, the worst and best of humanity. In one week, the opposite poles of parenting – fear and future. I wasn’t good at dwelling on the worst before baby; and that’s only been multiplied by, I don’t know – a trillion? I can’t have a kid and think all is doomed. I can’t have a kid and think that we’re all f*****, that climate has reached a point of no return, that social media is destroying everything for generations to come. I can’t move through the world like that. I couldn’t before baby, and I sure wouldn’t be able to breathe if I went down that path now, with my daughter stepping a little further out in that same world every day.
But, also, my eyes are open. I read the news. I’m averagely aware of what is going on.
So how does that work? I’m not sure. Every time something happens, every time some horrible stats come up, my heart shrinks. I don’t know how to exist in a world that’s burning and be a mother. So I try the same diversion technique we’ve started using with our toddler – I try to do good, because it distracts me from the bad.
“When someone tells me [that situation] makes them feel depressed, I tell them to fight. It will energize you somehow,” said the sailor and activist Isabelle Autissier here a few years ago. I remember hearing that and taking note. “And you will be able to look in the mirror.”
If a child is a looking glass, then I know what to do.
